Day 2: Where You'd Like to Be In 5 Years
This is something I've been thinking about since I graduated college with an absolutely useless degree. To be honest, 10 years seem so far away. I'm trying to focus on the day to day but in the spirit of this challenge I will say 5 years instead.
Professionally: This is tough for me, probably because at 28 I am nowhere near where I thought I'd be professionally. I went to college and honestly (or more accurately naively) thought that it would mean something. That it would mean a better life for me. Unfortunately it didn't work that way. It took a very long time to figure out that my passion lies with Occupational Therapy. I started working towards it and thought I was on my way when I was accepted to Rockhurst. Then I lost my job and had to turn it down. I know everything happens for a reason, and I'm not sure what that reason is yet but if it's something I'm meant to do then I'll do it. However, to answer the question, in five years I want to be close to completing my Masters in Occupational Therapy with a placement at John Knox Village or something equivalent. I know that's where I belong and I just have to remember not to give up just because it doesn't come to me easy.
Personally: This is much easier. ;-) I have already met the love of my life and I know I'll be spending the rest of my life with Brandon but right now I just know that I want to be married. I hate that I'm so envious of everyone getting married, because it should be enough to know that we'll be together forever and that eventually we will get married. We are just no where near where we should be financially to get engaged and plan and pay for a wedding. I know that I want to get engaged just so I'm engaged and have that ring on my finger and that's shallow...but it doesn't make it any easier to smile when everyone else is doing it.
Also, as I've said before B has Molly who's turning four. As someone who didn't want kids it's been a long process. I'd like to be a solid family unit within 5 years and as for more kids, we even talked about this tonight. I honestly believe that we won't have any more kids, so it's more about enhancing the family unit we already have.
With regards to friendships, this has been more challenging since college than I could have ever imagined!! Why is making friends so hard?! I met my very first best friend in the line for the bathroom the very first day of first grade. I turned to her and said: "Want to be my best friend?" and that was that! We were inseparable for the four years following. I'm not sure what the adult equivalent is of that phrase but I wish I knew. It's so easy to get wrapped up in your own life between work, kids, pets, and established lives and cliques who has the time to make friends? Of course it was even harder for me since I picked up and left all my friends behind and moved to a new state. With that being said, my friends from home as still amazing but if staying in touch when we were 30 minutes away was tough, imagine how tough it is when I'm 13 hours away. I don't know the secret to making friends, but I do know that friendships are something that is missing in my life. I am unsure how to change that and to move forward but I think that my new friends at work will help and I will always know that I can call Danielle, Lynzie, or Tinelle any time.
Body Image: Ok I know I've come a long way from where I started. Going from 240 to 155 is a big deal, and I don't know why it's not enough but I just know it isn't. Within the next 5 years I'd like to work on becoming happy with myself and how I look. I don't know if losing another 10 lbs is what I need or working on the psychological side of it, but I know that I'm not in a healthy place right now. I honestly think if I weighed 90 lbs it wouldn't be enough..of course Brandon would leave me without my ta-tas and my badunkadunk but it's what I see in the mirror that counts. And right now it's tough, I need to learn to accept and be happy or at least proud with everything I've accomplished instead of worrying why it isn't enough. This is a major issue for me and something I really need to work on. Everyone has a little bit of crazy and this is mine...
I know there are other things I'd like to have come to pass in the next 5 years but these are the biggies. I don't know if I'll be able to look back 5 years from now on this pseudo checklist and see how far I've come but I hope I can use this as a guide or reminder of what I really want out of life so that I don't forget where I'm going, where I came from, and more importantly that I'm not traveling there alone.
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